Queenslander farmer

hoggy

Regular Member
My Satellite Setup
technomate 1500ci+motorised
My Location
london
A Queenslandfarmer got in his ute and drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy, about nine, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home"? the farmer asked.

"Sorry mate, he isn't" the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the farmer, "Is your mum here"?

"No, sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Greg? Is he here"?

"He went with Mum and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for ya"? the boy asked politely. "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one. Or maybe, I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Greg getting my daughter pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment.

"You'd have to talk to Dad about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Dad charges $200 for the bull and $150 for the pig, but I really don't know how much he gets for Greg.":)
 
Two nuns were being raped in a field by two farmhands.

One nun said " Oh Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do"

The other nun said " Oh Lord, this one does."
 
Archie and Jock were discussing Jock's forthcoming marriage:

"How are the arrangements going Jock?"

" Och fine, fine, i've even bought myself a new kilt for the wedding"

"That's great, what's the tarten?"

" Och I expect she'll be wearing white!"
 
If you receive an email from the Department of Health, warning you not to eat tinned pork during the swine flu epidemic, ignore it, it's just spam!
 
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