- Joined
- Sep 28, 2005
- Messages
- 8,972
- Reaction score
- 424
- Points
- 83
- My Satellite Setup
- Dream7020 and AZ Elite and a few DM800
- My Location
- Sweden
Some good some ......
"Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing a local pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth control patches. They turned out to be nicotine patches. The good news, her new baby is now down to a half a pack a day."
~ Jay Leno
"Over the weekend, Bill and Hillary Clinton were spotted hiking in a national park near Washington. Yeah, after a 10-mile hike, Bill said 'I just can't seem to shake her'"
~ Dave Letterman
"A new survey says that New Jersey is the most livable state in the U.S. The survey has a margin of error of 100 percent."
~ Conan O'Brien
"Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed."
~ I.F. Stone
Proof for the above statement can be found in the quote below...
"Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union."
~ Joseph Stalin
"We've had huge rain storms all the way from Minnesota to New York. Or as Al Gore calls it, global leaking."
~ Jay Leno
"Here's something new in law enforcement. In L.A. they are using unmanned drones flying over the city to fight crime.
This should take some pressure off Superman."
~ Dave Letterman
"Here's some interesting news – a woman in Milwaukee gave birth to a 13 pound 12 ounce baby girl last week. Thirteen pounds, 12
ounces! Doctors say the baby will be walking before the mother."
~ Jay Leno
"Recent studies have found that a diet high in soy beans and soy sauce can result in infertility in men.....which goes to explain China's low population."
~ Conan O'Brien
"I took a course in speed reading and was able to read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia."
~Woody Allen
It's now been 48 hours that Paris Hilton has been in jail — which sets a new L.A. record for the longest time a celebrity has ever spent in prison."
~ Jay Leno
"Earlier today, Scooter Libby was sentenced to 30 months in prison. Afterwards, Scooter said, 'I just hope I have the chance to clear my incredibly stupid name.'"
~ Conan O'Brien
"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of
pals out there. Type in - 'Find people who have s_x with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"
~ Richard Jeni
"After Mama gave birth to 12 of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her."
~ Dolly Parton
"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
~ Thomas Jefferson (or as Al Sharpton calls him: Grandpappy)
"Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing a local pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth control patches. They turned out to be nicotine patches. The good news, her new baby is now down to a half a pack a day."
~ Jay Leno
"Over the weekend, Bill and Hillary Clinton were spotted hiking in a national park near Washington. Yeah, after a 10-mile hike, Bill said 'I just can't seem to shake her'"
~ Dave Letterman
"A new survey says that New Jersey is the most livable state in the U.S. The survey has a margin of error of 100 percent."
~ Conan O'Brien
"Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed."
~ I.F. Stone
Proof for the above statement can be found in the quote below...
"Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union."
~ Joseph Stalin
"We've had huge rain storms all the way from Minnesota to New York. Or as Al Gore calls it, global leaking."
~ Jay Leno
"Here's something new in law enforcement. In L.A. they are using unmanned drones flying over the city to fight crime.
This should take some pressure off Superman."
~ Dave Letterman
"Here's some interesting news – a woman in Milwaukee gave birth to a 13 pound 12 ounce baby girl last week. Thirteen pounds, 12
ounces! Doctors say the baby will be walking before the mother."
~ Jay Leno
"Recent studies have found that a diet high in soy beans and soy sauce can result in infertility in men.....which goes to explain China's low population."
~ Conan O'Brien
"I took a course in speed reading and was able to read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia."
~Woody Allen
It's now been 48 hours that Paris Hilton has been in jail — which sets a new L.A. record for the longest time a celebrity has ever spent in prison."
~ Jay Leno
"Earlier today, Scooter Libby was sentenced to 30 months in prison. Afterwards, Scooter said, 'I just hope I have the chance to clear my incredibly stupid name.'"
~ Conan O'Brien
"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of
pals out there. Type in - 'Find people who have s_x with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"
~ Richard Jeni
"After Mama gave birth to 12 of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her."
~ Dolly Parton
"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
~ Thomas Jefferson (or as Al Sharpton calls him: Grandpappy)