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Science and Santa

Analoguesat

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#1
Does Santa actually exist?

We can use science to try and prove the truth about the jolly chap in the red coat.

THE WORKLOAD
There are roughly 2 billion children in the world give or take a few hundred thousand, but since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces his work- load to 15 percent of the total, or 300 million.

At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 85.7 million homes. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 767.9 visits per second.

So for each Christian household with good children, Santa has about 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the presents, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

TIME/DISTANCE
Assuming that these 85.7 million stops are evenly distributed around the Earth, we're talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles

SPEED
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, in other words he will be doing something near mach 3,000...... There should be one hell of a sonic boom as he goes past....

THE PAYLOAD
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium- size Lego set (2 lbs.), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as 'heavy.' On land, normal reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds, and even granting that flying reindeer could pull 10 times the normal amount, Santa's going to need 214,200 reindeer to pull his sleigh. This increases the payload to 353,430 tons, or four times the weight of the ship the Queen Elizabeth 2.


CONCLUSIONS
353,000 tons, traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up like a spacecraft reentering Earth's atmosphere. As Rudolph will be leading, this is obviously the cause of the famed red nose.


WHAT ELSE DO WE KNOW ABOUT SANTA?
Santa drinks 1 glass of sherry at each house. (85.7 million glasses). Assuming each glass of sherry is a generous 2 fluid ounces (one tenth of a pint), this would mean that Santa drinks 8.5 million pints of sherry in one night. That's over a million gallons. Therefore we can accurately say that Santa is a complete alcoholic.

WHY DONT WE SEE SANTA ANY OTHER DAY?
Apart from him taking a year to sober up after his mega bender? The poor old chap also has to eat the 85 million mince pies left with the sherry glasses. This plays havoc with his digestion, and its takes him a year to recover.

:-HoHo :-HoHo :-santa3 :-bigsanta :-santa3 :-reindeer :-Cbigsmil :-sugar:-Cmany
 

BadWithComputer

The Local Drunkard
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#2
Very funny and enjoyable, could this be elaborate proof that he does in fact exist?
 
J

Jeff_19341

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#3
I'm rather surprised that Mr Analoguesat, with his age and experience, still believes in the myth of Santa Claus:-Cbigsmil
Christmas! :-humbug

:-hny
 
J

Jeff_19341

Guest
#5
If you believe that you must also believe in the tooth fairy and that the moon is made of green cheese :-thumbup .
As the saying goes, " you can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time , but not all of the people all of the time".:-Cbigsmil

Christmas, rip off time and longest skive of the year:-humbug
:-hny