Some memorable wording on shop signs

Topper

Amo Amas Amant Admin
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My Satellite Setup
Has gone to a good home elsewhere
My Location
Blackburn, Lancashire
A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver:

We will heel you.
We will save your sole.
We will even dye for you.



Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”




In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels.”




On a Septic Tank Truck:

“Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.”




At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”




On a Plumber's truck :

"We repair what your husband fixed.”




On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”




At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout.”




On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.”




In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”




On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.”




At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”




Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”




In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”




At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”




In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”




In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”




At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills.”




In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.”




And the best one for last,
a sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises.”
 
There's a local roofing contractor who's slogan on his van is; 'Don't pay through the roof!' Seeing as his name is Ray, I'd have thought 'Ray's the Roof' would have a better ring.
 
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