- My Satellite Setup
- Has gone to a good home elsewhere
- My Location
- Blackburn, Lancashire
I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love?
"Honey, I'm home!"
Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting the crime. The thief spends less than my wife did.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we were given a room with a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand? "
The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me too!"
Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought before me here for drinking."
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
"Honey, I'm home!"
Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting the crime. The thief spends less than my wife did.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we were given a room with a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand? "
The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me too!"
Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought before me here for drinking."
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."