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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
The duck
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<blockquote data-quote="Topper" data-source="post: 864542" data-attributes="member: 186250"><p><span style="font-size: 15px">A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.</span></p><p>The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "I see your eyes are working,"replies the duck.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "I see your ears are working, too," says the duck.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"Certainly, sorry about that, " Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"It 's just we don't get many ducks in this pub..</span> What are you doing round this way?"</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, </span>bids the barman good day and leaves.</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">The same thing happens for two weeks, t</span>hen one day the circus comes to town and later that week the ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"You're with the circus, aren't you?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "Get him to give me a call."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, </span>paying really good money."</p><p> "I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck, "Where is the job?" </p><p>"At the circus," Says the barman.</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "The circus?" Repeats the duck.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"That's right," replies the barman.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "The circus?" The duck asks again, with the big tent?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"Yeah," the barman replies.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "With all the animals who live in cages, </span>and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "Of course," the barman replies.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the </span> middle?" persists the duck.</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"That's right!" says the barman.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. .</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">[spoiler] What the f*ck would <strong>they</strong> want with a plasterer??![/spoiler]</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Topper, post: 864542, member: 186250"] [SIZE=4]A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.[/SIZE] The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." [SIZE=4] "I see your eyes are working,"replies the duck. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that, " Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It 's just we don't get many ducks in this pub..[/SIZE] What are you doing round this way?" [SIZE=4] "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, [/SIZE]bids the barman good day and leaves. [SIZE=4]The same thing happens for two weeks, t[/SIZE]hen one day the circus comes to town and later that week the ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him [SIZE=4]"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, [/SIZE]paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck, "Where is the job?" "At the circus," Says the barman. [SIZE=4] "The circus?" Repeats the duck. "That's right," replies the barman. "The circus?" The duck asks again, with the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, [/SIZE]and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. [SIZE=4] "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the [/SIZE] middle?" persists the duck. [SIZE=4]"That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . [spoiler] What the f*ck would [B]they[/B] want with a plasterer??![/spoiler][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
The duck
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