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Wavey's Jokes Corner (May contain nuts)
The duck
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<blockquote data-quote="Vipersan" data-source="post: 864561" data-attributes="member: 325666"><p>..A travelling Salesman over in Ireland ...travelling down a dark country lane ..</p><p>His car suddenly grinds to a halt..</p><p>Somewhat perplexed he gets out of the car ..pops the bonnet and proceeds to investigate.</p><p>Suddenly a voice behind him says loud n clear but in a thick Irish accent..</p><p>Your distributer cap's loose..</p><p>The Salesman stands up with a start and bangs his head on the bonnet lid..</p><p>Looking around he sees nothing ...no-one around at all .</p><p>Back under the bonnet he goes thinking he'd imagined the voice...when suddenly he hears it again.</p><p>Now a little frightened ..he emerges again ..and begins to pace up and down looking over walls and hedges..</p><p>No one around...except a lonely horse in a field..</p><p>Was that you he says in a barely audible whisper ?</p><p>Sure was ..says the horse..</p><p>Slightly shitting himself in case he was going mad ...he asks again..</p><p>Yep says the horse..your distributer caps come adrift..</p><p>The man rushes back to his vehicle and looks under the bonnet..</p><p>Sure enough the distributer cap IS loose ..he quickly hammers it home ..and without turning to thank the horse...starts the engine ..and shaking like a leaf ..floors it ..</p><p>Driving like a madman until he sees some lights in the distance..whereupon he encounters a village pub.</p><p>Clearly in need of human companionship and a stiff drink to settle his nerves ..he stops the car and runs into the pub.</p><p>A double whisky ..no a treble ..he says to the barkeep.</p><p>The barman obliges and seeing his obvious distress asks whatever is the matter ?</p><p>Falling over his words the Salesman recounts his tale ..</p><p>When he's finished the barman says ...was this a white horse in a field about 2 miles down the lane..</p><p>Yes says the salesman ..still shaking from his encounter..</p><p>Ahhh to be sure says the barman ....damned good job it wasn't the black one...</p><p>Black one says the man..? more than a bit perplexed.</p><p>I ENCOUNTERED A TALKING HORSE !!!</p><p>Yep the barman replies...</p><p>bloody good job t'weren't him ...</p><p></p><p></p><p>He knows feck all about cars...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Now -THATS- a groaner</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Vipersan, post: 864561, member: 325666"] ..A travelling Salesman over in Ireland ...travelling down a dark country lane .. His car suddenly grinds to a halt.. Somewhat perplexed he gets out of the car ..pops the bonnet and proceeds to investigate. Suddenly a voice behind him says loud n clear but in a thick Irish accent.. Your distributer cap's loose.. The Salesman stands up with a start and bangs his head on the bonnet lid.. Looking around he sees nothing ...no-one around at all . Back under the bonnet he goes thinking he'd imagined the voice...when suddenly he hears it again. Now a little frightened ..he emerges again ..and begins to pace up and down looking over walls and hedges.. No one around...except a lonely horse in a field.. Was that you he says in a barely audible whisper ? Sure was ..says the horse.. Slightly shitting himself in case he was going mad ...he asks again.. Yep says the horse..your distributer caps come adrift.. The man rushes back to his vehicle and looks under the bonnet.. Sure enough the distributer cap IS loose ..he quickly hammers it home ..and without turning to thank the horse...starts the engine ..and shaking like a leaf ..floors it .. Driving like a madman until he sees some lights in the distance..whereupon he encounters a village pub. Clearly in need of human companionship and a stiff drink to settle his nerves ..he stops the car and runs into the pub. A double whisky ..no a treble ..he says to the barkeep. The barman obliges and seeing his obvious distress asks whatever is the matter ? Falling over his words the Salesman recounts his tale .. When he's finished the barman says ...was this a white horse in a field about 2 miles down the lane.. Yes says the salesman ..still shaking from his encounter.. Ahhh to be sure says the barman ....damned good job it wasn't the black one... Black one says the man..? more than a bit perplexed. I ENCOUNTERED A TALKING HORSE !!! Yep the barman replies... bloody good job t'weren't him ... He knows feck all about cars... Now -THATS- a groaner [/QUOTE]
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