Recent content by OneAce

A woman comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone. No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror...

Fruit Cake Recipe By John Gulland Ingredients a cup of water a cup of sugar a cup of butter 4 large eggs 2 cups of dried fruit a teaspoon of baking soda a teaspoon of salt a cup of brown sugar lemon juice nuts and a bottle of whisky Method Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a...

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to...

The Danger of drinking beer. http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"...

This picture is from a house on sale in Spain. The owner missed that a mirror reflects.

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One can always wish…

CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you...

Having a bad day? I wonder whos in more pain...

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk)...

The Internet's friendly reminder that life is slipping away... Have fun with this. Don't take it too seriously. Check out: www.deathclock.com

One morning while making breakfast a man walked to her wife and pinched her on her butt and said You know..if you firmed this up, we could get rid of your girdle. While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning, the man woke his...